Friday 20 May 2016

Dolphins



Digital render reference for the oil painting I am doing for gift art for my cousin. All compiled and rendered in Vue 10 xStream, though dolphins were done and exported from Poser and then imported into Vue in 3DS format.

Saturday 7 May 2016

Eggs-Terminate

Eggs Terminate
A play on the word exterminate in which Daleks use before attempting to destroy a target. Daleks are villains on Dr. Who TV series. Here you see a Dalek exterminating eggs of my own custom xenomorphic Alien hybrid, which looks more humanoid in appearance.. It is a loose cross over of Dr. Who and Alien, where my Alien is my own custom version of it. The Japanese text indicates that the Alien is pissed that her eggs are being eggsterminated. Its the default commic sttrip text that is in the Manga Studio side panel library. 

I intended to do this bit of digital art for fun, hope it would cheer me up , get possible fans or freinds and as well as positive feedback for motivation on new work. This work had been done for satire, humour and social media interaction.  I stalled and completed this work slowly since I have a lot on my mind in regards feeling like I have been abandoned by the gender treatment services, and the delaying with with further excuses in delaying my operation which has made life on this planet feel like everyday I am just scraping through not knowing that I would have a future, and the rest of my life is going to be a lot of pain and suffering. I posted the blog here: 

Seriously, I am tired of the social things memes etc, and just going to continue on my sensual based work. Its what I enjoy most, and it is what helps me escape people and the attitudes of people in general. That works, this attempt has failed. 
Even on devinatart at this present time, not even one favorite just proves that this idea of work is a failure, back to drawing nudes, sensual stuff... to escape from things.. else I am going to think about killing myself. 

How Money, Religion, Violence effected my life.

I have decided to do this brief blog, to explain myself why these things have effected my life, how they have caused PTSD and how I react to people, when people don't understand what I am trying to say. I am going to keep this simple into the point and avoid it becoming a biography or essay, in other words TL;DR.There is a lot more , but i just select events that i can remember.

1) Money.
I dislike money and how the planet made this virtual commodity more important than life itself, the resources the planet provides , and the ecology of the planet. I had been born with both genders, had forced surgery done to me to the gender at the wishes of my parents. When i told them I wish to be the opposite to the gender of their wish, they declined on the basis of religious beliefs and the cost of having it done. When I was raped  at a night club in South Africa , I went t hospital. They do not have an NHS like in UK, they have medical insurance like the USA, but call it Medical Aid. I had to call my parents who lived in another town 100kms away, so they could get the medical insurance monies sorted, and took over an hour before getting treatment, and be seen by a nurse before even thinking about getting treatment by a doctor later on in the evening. While I was waiting, people injured from street violence, muggings etc with stab wounds and gashes were waiting in the area. Because South Africa had high poverty, not many can afford medical aid/insurance. They had to produce cash or credit cards. Even so those who were mugged victims may have lost cash/credit cards in the violent incidence. They were told to wait for paying patients to get treated first , and if no more patents that had cash/credit cards/medical aid/insurance, they get treatment. Obviously they had none of these. I saw them bleed to death while I was waiting to get treatment for my rape. Their dead bodies were dragged out to the morgue. Now I am in the UK, and  on the NHS, was moving forward, Now with government does cuts to NHS, I have been put aside and given excuses and have been delaying the operation, because the government believes saving money for UK's military , is more important than my life, and the lives of others.

2) Religion
As you know as above I had been born with both genders. The reason why forced surgery was done on me was because of the belief of my parents. They believed the devil caused this, and they were correcting God's creation. Throughout my childhood, I had been bombard with indoctrination about the christianity, and been through several cults and versions of it, when my parents moved from one church to another. I had been forced into a Christian school , where indoctrination did not end at home. First day at the school I got punished, by being beaten by the school staff and headmaster because I asked to many questions and did not conform. I am glad i did my thinking and analysing,  and with the help of being visited by an extraterrestrial third parent I broke free from these  beliefs. I would have ended up like my brother who now is a teacher of one of these schools. Though knowing what I learned from the extraterrestrial, made life more understandable and easier in some ways, but harder when when having to confront conformity everyday. My parents would often try get pastors and ministers to perform exorcisms on me, this has caused a lot of my mental problems and how I relate to people.

3) Violence.
I have encountered a lot of violence, especially in the form of punishment when I did not comply to the religious beliefs of my parents and primary school, and even the church I had been forced to attend. I had experienced violence at high-school which was not part of this christian school thing, but was a normal school. I encountered violence because of being different in many ways, with the obvious being my intersexed issues. I was seen as alien. The violence was bullying, being beaten up, and forced into smoking cigarettes, which was the alternative to being beaten up, At university , one night when accessing the computers(laptops were expensive, and tablets, smart phones did not exist at the time). I was stabbed in the leg for what little money I had, cheap mobile phone brick, and a pack of floppy disks, in a woollen pouch made by my only friend at the time who understood me on campus, where we used to meet and feed the stray cats in the evening. I had been threatened to be have being shot, because my student residence window faced an alleyway where mini bus taxi diver drug dealers, parked and cleaned their AK-47 rifles. , because their money earned by drugs was more important than my life. I told them i don't see anything., they left me alone with their threats.  When riding my bike through town one night. There was a shooting between rival taxi gangs. I happened to be pass through at the wrong time, and they started firing their AK-47s at me for no reason. The bullets missed me, perhaps it is because they were too high.

Tuesday 3 May 2016

Increase in UK Military air patrols = Decrease in my personal UFO/ET visits

One of the main reasons why I have had a major reduction in ET/UFO visits, is that the Airforce is on alert to any aircraft that appears to be unknown, as you see in this article , where the title is not Sonic booms heard in Yorkshire as Typhoons are scrambled | UK news | The Guardian but RAF Typhoon fighters scrambled to intercept Air France jet over Yorkshir


http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/may/03/sonic-booms-heard-in-yorkshire-as-quick-alert-typhoons-are-scrambled




The military is getting more money to keep up patrols from the council tax, via CAPITA. Don't agree , then ask yourselves why the sunderland police station has been reduced to a copshop, firestation is on the verge of closing, The Art Studio I do art, is on the verge of closing. I am threatened from being banned to have my gender operation because of my smoking addiction. and the whole list of cuts go right through the UK. All these cuts happened the same time when the sick, disabled, and unemployed were forced into paying council tax which they never did in the past. It is the same time when it was privatised by CAPITA.They increased the council tax fee, and yet why have not people noticed that an increased fee would not allow the closure of public services ? Are people so blind and stupid , that they don't even notice a penny drop from under their noses , and so complaint that everything is carrying on as normal , that if I should bring up the topic they call out the bullshit card while being backed up by their own ignorance to what is really going on ? Obama came to the UK. Everyone assumes it was about the vote/debate on Brexit (leaving/staying in the EU and trades with the USA. If you heard and seen between the lines of his political gassing and bullcrap, you would discover that he wants UK to focus more of its money and resources on defence, and the military. Obama wants the UK to follow suit in having an estimate of 3/4's of the tax money to sponsor arms, weapons and military , instead of half which nobody knows about because much of the information to where the money is going in the UK is censored , hidden and covered up with lies and corruption.