I tried to use the form on your page https://reportuk.org/2016/04/22/surgery-ban-for-obese-patients-wrong/
It did not work.
I have been waiting to have gender reassignment surgery, and I have not even put on a waiting list , since i am still waiting to be put on a waiting list. I suffer from PTSD from childhood due to the way I was born, and my parents got a doctor to perform forced surgery on me, a mnth after I had been born. They were extremely religious, and did not realize they were abusing me because they believed they were doing the right thing before God, which I don't believe exists. Not only that my PTSD was caused by my parents, it had been created by being bullied at school by teachers, school staff, sports staff, other pupils.
I had been bullied into the habit of smoking just to be accepted, and being around in the second hand smoke of my father, when he smoked, was like petroleum to a fire that made the addiction to nicotine intense. Smoking became something I relied on to cope with the problems and several suicide tendencies . I had also been raped when I was a student in South Africa, and later on TV there, I found that my rapist moved to the United States and got caught , since he ended up being a serial killer.
With the government making cuts here , there and everywhere it has made my life a lot more stressful , and difficult to cope that smoking is a way to chill-out and distract my mind from the problems so I can , focus and meditate and work on my artwork, which makes me escape from this hellish life I live in.
Recently I had my appointment with the gender specialist who kept on making excuses to delay me from having an operation or even be put on a waiting list for one. First excuse was about my PTSD and its causes in the deterioration of my mental health, failing to inderstand that the gender issue has been the foundation of the trauma all along. When they sort “understood” after I went through a suicidal attempt after delaying me from further appointments , there next excuse was my weight. I had put on a bit of weight , being a little over weight, but was never obese. I took up body boarding as a it’s the only exercise I can do because I have a bad back, as I would only dream to surf, and I cant run, walk very far, or cycle. I cant do swimming in the public pool because the time limit restriction would cause my mental health problems caused by my PTSD to tick, which would get me into trouble where they might call the police, to evict me from the swimming pool. I don’t want that. I had started to loose weight and was ambitious that I can finally move forward to have the operation done, so I can focus on other thing in my life, the last excuse was my smoking problem. I have bad back because I broke it in a suicidal attempt back in 2001 by jumping out of the third story window of my parent’s house, because of the gender issues and they rejected my letter I wrote to them to stop the secret about what they did to me.
This is the hardest one, and I feel I have reached a dead end and had been refused surgery until I quit. I never have been given the help I need to help me quit. This last rejection had brought my wellbeing right down, that I don’t do much anymore, I stall in my artwork, taking it slower than usually. I have more suicidal thoughts I have to fight everyday. I I have reached the point of breaking down , since I do not have any hope for moving on in my life. I know I will have more willpower to quit smoking once I have had my gender surgery, because that is the foundation stone of trauma that caused the smoking in the first place. I feel like I am living in a Limbo counting the years of my life going by , without having a life of my own to be my true self. Almost every day is like living in hell, some days in my life have made up for the loss of years in my life, but they are very short lived, like meeting like minded friends in London, getting praised about my artwork at the studio I do my work in, which is also on the verge of closing because of these cuts. I feel every opportunity to have a life being taken away from me, where I end up smoking more.
I am not sure what to do, I take every day as it comes, and anymore stress, hassle and rejection, intimidation, bullying in real life , where people take away my hope of having a future, what is left of what is left of it away fro me, I will one day never survive the thoughts of attempting suicide or even a successful suicidal attempt.
I need help to get this big obstacle in my life sorted which would make my other burdens such as the smoking habit easer to tackle, and that is the gender surgery.
I hope I get heard, thank you if you are listening.
